Character Coins

Ya know how they say kids want attention and they'll take whatever they get...good OR bad? Well, I found myself dishing out a lot of BAD attention lately... ("don't do this... don't do that...DO this... why do you always..." you know the drill). It is so tiring to listen to arguing, copy-catting and babytalking all day between siblings! So my sister in law (Thanks, again, Lisa ;) reminded me of a ...hmm...behavior modification tool...I began last year and actually just stopped using around the time Owen came along. I simply forgot about it!
The Character Coin system works like this: I have a jar of pennies and when I catch Jaedon doing the character -trait- of -the- week, he gets to pick out (X) amount of pennies and put them in his "bank". Last year I began this for a two fold purpose. 1. I'm a goodwill-a-holic and I would find books, computer games, toys etc... and put them in his "store" with each item labeled a certain penny amount. He then would use up his character coins to "buy" the item of choice for himself. It was my feeble attempt at introducing him to money! We're still working on it.
The 2nd reason was to help me focus on Jaedon's POSITIVE behaviors and remember to express appreciation for them TO him...outloud and often.
So last week as I was lamenting the sibling rivalry thing again I decided to pull out the coins and try again. The results have been nothing less than miraculous!
Our character trait of the week (maybe month!) is KINDNESS - in word and deed. I have really been working to "catch" Jaedon especially when he says or does something that is KIND (our definition is "treating others the way we would like to be treated".) I have heard some of the SWEETEST conversations between Seth and Jaedon this week! For example:
J: "Seth! Seth, buddy, do you want me to read this book to you?"
s: "Um...yeah. Gank oo, D" (Seth talk for thank you, Jaedon ;)
J: "You're welcome, Bud. Com'er and sit so we can both see the pictures k?"
S: "Yeah..uh huh...bicktoors too, yea..." ;P

Having said this I realize that my Jaedon is a performer! If he knows I'm looking for something he'll put on the act real well which is why I've been particularly careful in "rewarding" him for the kindness that is out of my sight and (he thought) hearing. He still trys to do or say something kind and then will ask me if he can get a coin but I tell him it's only valid if I catch him in the act ;)
Seth, of course, wanted to start his own bank too.
And just a disclaimer- there still is plenty of arguing! I'm not naive enough to think this is a cure-all. Just a tool that works (80% of the time) right now! =)

There are two things I find humorous about this whole thing.
1. We haven't stated anything the coins are to be used for. There is no "store" or things to buy and no end reward as of yet. So far the coins are reward enough. We'll keep working on the money instruction though ;)
and 2. I love the way our home SOUNDS when I'm not yelling at them to stop yelling (does that ever work anyway?????!) and I truly enjoy looking for the good things in my boys - to encourage them and build them up. Funny thing about God's word- when you follow it's advice...it works! ;)