I am being messed up in the best possible way. My eyes are
being opened, my head being pulled out of the sandpit it’s been stuck in and my
heart is enlarging.
Almost a year ago we were handed a book called Live. Just.
Ly. This group study book is all about
looking at justice, God’s heart for justice, the lack of justice in our world,
and what we can do about it. Now, the
idea of justice and advocacy isn’t new to me but actually acting towards those
ideas certainly are. I mean I vote for
people that promote ideas that align with mine.
That’s good enough right?
So then I started to read and all these books started to
collide in concept and started a transforming work in me from which I hope I
never return.
First book: Live. Just.Ly by the Micah Challenge. This book is over my head but I love that it
is. Being aware of the Fathers heart for justice and being challenged to
advocate towards that end is a journey that I’m thrilled and terrified about. I
have no idea where it’s going but being stretched towards this end is so good.
Second book: Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. This was a summer study done with some
friends and we all agreed that we loved/hated this book. It looks at the junk that we tolerate in our
lives- like criticism, judgementalism, pride, anger, ungratefulness,
impatience- and calls us out on them. It
has driven me to my knees literally and I’m so thankful for the perspective
shift. It’s helped me as I sift through these lessons as I begin to see God and
people differently.
Third book: Confessions of a Transformed Heart by Nancy
Sheppherd. This biography of a
missionary to Liberia was so honest that I found myself relating to her easily
and was thankful for the growing she went through to challenge my own.
Fourth: Not a book but a study I have been able to attend
this summer. An urban church plant of
our church hosted a summer study on Gender, Poverty and Race. I have really been digging into the
scriptures about each of these topics. Poverty was the latest session which led
me to read three other books: Warrior Princess (a bio about an HIV positive
advocate from Zambia), 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa (a truly shocking book
about the attitude, mindset and lives of 28 different people- 28, by the way, representing
the 28 million people infected with HIV), and Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker.
Just don’t. (Well, yes, do-read it)- but only if you want to be messed
up too. The sub-title of that book is
called “How Jesus wrecked my comfortable Christianity”. Yes. That’s how I feel.
The question I have to myself is HOW is it that I have read
the bible MY ENTIRE LIFE and yet somehow missed all of this chatter about
justice and poverty? I am beginning to see I simply cannot read God’s word
without seeing his heart being POURED out for the poor and ignored. And how dare I say I love God if I am not
about doing his work for those his heart bleeds for? My
vote-on-election-days-but-I’ll
keep-my-head-in-the-sand-and-read-over-words-like-justice-in-the-bible days are
over. Done.
So here is a glimpse of how all these books have collided
for me.
I read the Scriptures from my study about poverty-( and there
are A LOT!) Obviously, God wants to get my eyes off of myself and look for these
poor and ignored. Then I recall the chapter about selfishness and it’s subtleness
in our lives (respectable sins) Oh God, please forgive that I have been missing
seeing people the way you see them. I’ve
called his life “mine” when it simply isn’t. Forgive me. I also am reminded of
a story from the missionary biography and when she was particularly struggling
with the poverty around her. Thank you,
Lord for her insight.
In our summer study group we talked about the cycles of
poverty, the forms of poverty and the reasons for poverty.
Are some people just lazy? Yes.
Are some people oppressed? Yes.
Are some people caught in this cycle of poverty going to
completely take advantage of systems and other people (me)? More than likely.
Am I called to care for the poor? Yes.
Am I the one allowed to choose WHICH poor I care for?
No.
Oh Lord, forgive me of my judgmentalism!
Then I began reading these AIDS biographies! Reading their
stories challenged my (dare I say it?) “they are just ignorant people” attitude
(O God, forgive my arrogance, my pride and my judgemental attitude…respectable
sins?) to suddenly their plight, their hopelessness, their lack of
understanding becomes something I can care about. And I haven’t cared. Ever. O God, forgive me,
again, of my selfishness! (“Respectable sins”? I think not. ) This has not only given me a tiny glimpse of
the horror of these countries, communities and families but it has moved it
from being “their problem” to an advocacy issue for me.
I have no idea what
that means.
However, I am grateful for growing and excited to see what
God will do with my life as his pliable workman. Lord, keep me pliable!
Books that will mess you up too:
Respectable Sins- Jerry Bridges
Kisses from Katie- Katie Davis
Interrupted- Jennifer Hatmaker
Matthew 25 and Isaiah 58
Live.Just.Ly- Micah Challenge
28 Stories of AIDS in Africa
Confessions of a Transformed Heart- Nancy Sheppherd
Warrior Princess- Princess Zulu
