Court Date Update

Wow- I've had so many people asking and praying about today. Thank you! And thank you for allowing me to answer impersonally via blogging to let you all know at once what happened at the hearing today.

When we first got to the courtroom I met with a caseworker who told me that Mom "turned herself in" (to the agency) last night at 10pm.  This rather threw the attorneys for a loop as she ended up coming to the hearing that, I assume, they thought she would not be present for.  Is it weird for me to say I missed her? I'm glad I could see her and give her a hug.

Little Lady's caseworker did a great, thorough job of laying out the facts about Little Lady's care and Mom/Dad's recent choices (those being NOT in Little Lady's best interest).  I will err on the side of caution and not divulge any details about those choices (other than the fact that Mom was AWOL for the past 2 months).

This judge did not hesitate in the least to approve the recommendation of terminating parent rights.  He very clearly stated to Mom that the justice system had laid out very clearly for her what was expected of her and she was very clearly told the consequences for not complying.  My assessment was rather like a parent saying "I warned you so now I'm following through with those consequences." (so to speak)

I can't quite imagine what Mom (and Dad who was listening in via conference call) thought when they heard that.

This is just a next step.  Termination is NOT finalized yet so nothing is set in stone.  Just taking a step towards it.  Little Lady's caseworker now will file a petition for termination, a hearing time will be set within the next 90 days.  All relatives will be contacted and reviewed to see if they are a likely placement for Little Lady although the court does weigh our attachment and experience (along with her age) in their decision.  They are aware that we are willing to adopt (although "willing" sounds very flighty but I guess you can't say "we really really really really want her!" ;-)

My thoughts about today are mixed.
For one I kept thinking about the proverb (8:15) that says "By me (God), kings reign and rulers issues decrees that are just."  I was just praying for the judge lately.  He's in his position because God allowed him to be.  His ruling certainly seemed "fair and just" for which I am thankful and he genuinely seems to seeking the best case scenario for Little Lady ALONE which is thrilling!

Secondly, I saddened for Mom.  I cannot imagine what she is feeling right now and after having built a somewhat tenuous relationship with her my heart is heavy.  I don't even have words to explain how or why. Just is.

Thirdly, I'm cautiously optimistic about the probability of having an actual daughter. (Even though that thought still terrifies me!)  I am also just very aware that this whole situation is certainly NOT about me, my family or even adding to our family.  It's about God.  He loves Little Lady.  He loves her Mom. He loves that judge. And his purpose for each of those and us will prevail.  What a wonderful reassurance in an unknown future.

Thanks for praying, asking and caring!

Richman

We learned sad news this past week.  A great man with incredible vision, diligence, faith and love for God and his people died in a car accident.  We met Richman in Zambia as he is the founder and leader of the music academy Brad has worked at twice.  A very great loss of partner in ministry.  It's hard to understand the whys sometimes.
Pray for his wife, Regina and 4 kids.
Poetice.com

Relevant truth

Have you discovered God's Word to be what is says it is? Living? Active? Piercing? Good for correction? Transforming?  I was reminded yesterday that God's word is good for Information- (but it can't stay there) ,  for Inspiration- (but it can't stay there either) but ultimately God's word is for Transformation.  
We really experienced this during our summer memory work.  

I don't know what YOUR household atmosphere is like all the time.  Peaceful, angelic, joyful, cheerful, where all kids get along and parents never yell.  
Ok- that probably doesn't ever exist all the time!  

So right out of the gate- school is over in early June, we're together (including hubby...remember he's a teacher!) 24/7. Sounds delightful doesn't it?  It is/was/can be!  But we notice there is a time of transition that has to happen- we need to remember HOW to live well with each other all day every day again.  And being quite honest, we didn't start out great.  Arguing, bossing, yelling and bad attitudes.  

And THEN there were the kids!!  ;-)  

Enter our Summer memory work: Romans 12.

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 

 We noted that we as a  family were doing the OPPOSITE of what these verses tell us to do!  We were clinging to what is evil ("HE started it!", "I want that!", "I HAVE to tell you to do this because I am the almighty parent..." etc...) you get the big, ugly picture.  

And I'm not pretending we still don't.

But these were some TERRIFIC verses to hide in our hearts right off the bat this summer.  We've been able to keep referring to them - hopefully forever- but certainly for today. 

Relevant. 

¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor,serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Within 2 weeks in July we had heard of 4 people who we knew that had died.  One was a grandma of a friend, a husband of a friend, my Grandma and a bible study friend and peer of mine.  These verses were the exact ones we were learning during this time of mourning and grieving with those who are mourning and grieving. 

Relevant. 

¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[c] Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[d] says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”^[e]

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If you have kids, know kids or have ever SEEN kids you'll know how relevant these verses can be.  Not in a beating-you-over-the-head style of truth but how refreshing for them (and us!) to know...oh look! People have been dealing with this stuff since forever. 
God's word is relevant to me, to my kids, to my situation, to my relationships, to my struggles, to my bad attitudes and to my life. 
Today. 

Last but not Least

 Well, I would be remiss if I didn't write another quick update on our status with the Little Lady.  We found out that our caseworker is writing a recommendation to the court recommending termination of parental rights.  (Mom has been AWOL since July 22 in case you missed that bit of info.)   We were asked to write a letter ourselves to the judge letting him know of her bonding with our family and our desire to adopt her should the court find that appropriate for her.  The court hearing to determine termination (or not!) is the end of this month.  I will keep you posted on the outcome.  Until then... we are in FULL toddler fun and "fun" around here! (complete with tantrums and giggles).

First day of school

Seth asked if he could have this breakfast EVERY day of first grade.   

Jaedon, pleased as punch with his new "awesomeist" first-day-of-fourth-grade shirt.

Mom H. sent me this pic of Brad's first day of First Grade- also Sept. 4. ;-)

Summer Recap

 This summer was a lovely blend of busyness and boredom (although I think the boredom factor was more my issue than my kiddos who have built in play mates). As I look back on the events and day we had I can honestly say WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE WE THINKING????
But what a fun summer it was too! Jaedon and Seth had their first tiny taste of an away-for-night camping time, Owen had his first VBS time, we hosted our first Backyard Bible Club and all of these were a first to experience with Little Lady.

Beautiful lake Michigan

One of all of our favorite memories of the summer was the camping week we had at the end of August. We affectionately are referring to it as "cabbage week" because it was our cottage time in a cabin...cottage/cabin=cabbage. =)

We were able to spend that time with Brads side of the family too which was really sweet time together.  We are blessed that we like each other enough to WANT to vacation together!

Cute Cousins

 Another favorite (for the boys at least) was our day trip to Michigan Adventures (a local amusement park).  This was sweet because, as seen in a previous post, we had been working all summer towards Summer Scripture Challenge and a trip to Michigans Adventure was the end reward.  Well, we made it! (and no cheating either!)  We have been counting out points for things like personal quiet time, bedtime prayers, reciting our memory verses each week, service projects (like serving in nursery or helping a neighbor) and we got to our goal.  The kids LOVED the park day...now to just have them KEEP doing their quiet time right? =)

Yes, Little Lady is NOT pictured here because really... amusement parks aren't all that amusing  to an 18month old...or her Mama! THANK YOU, Grandma!!!!!!!

 I think with Facebook it is really almost impossible to keep up on this blogging thing. But I know my mom checks out this more often than my Facebook page so.... Merry Christmas, Mom! I'll keep blogging every now and then for you. ;-)

The day before Jaedon's 9th bday in early August I had a striking thought: 9 is 1/2 way to 18! YIKES!

Jaedon's 9th bday cake.  The pink candles were a nice touch I think. 

We took a buddy- Elijah- with us to the Kroc Center for some swim time.

Development

Well, this week may turn out to be a turning point in our case with Little Lady.  Mom (as in Little Lady's Mom) decided to run away- putting her on AWOL status- which is exactly where she was when Little Lady came into our care almost 9 months ago.  Given her known affiliations (and those of her family, friends and Little Lady's Dad)  there is a slight cause for concern simply because Mom knows where we live and where Little Lady sleeps, However, we also know that having her at our house was not a choice we made lightly and even if that is the only time we had with her we can pray that our minimal influence may affect her somehow. We are saddened by her decisions but also a bit curious to see how this will possibly effect our having Little Lady on a much more permanent basis eventually.  Time will tell and there are no changes happening as of yet but thanks for praying and caring.

Full Swing

 I don't know about you but I haven't seen any of those "lazy days of summer" yet.  We're filling up these sun scorched days a bit too well.  It's been a full and fun and I wouldn't change a bit.

 Seth and Jaedon did a soccer camp at a local church.  We're not the athletes of the group but they had a blast pretending to be!

 Our family (as in just the boys) took 3 days in Chicago this past week.  We had a grand time in the busy 'vacation' sense.  It was really lovely to have some one on one time with each of the boys even though we did miss the Little Lady.  (She stayed with my in laws and had a glorious time playing, taking naps and NOT being hauled around in the stroller for 3 days!!)

 July 4th fru-fru-ness! =)  

And we're 1/2 way through our Summer Scripture Challenge!  This summer it's been really neat to see the maintenance and follow through of it (thanks to my awesome, detailed hubby!)  Briefly: we set a goal to earn points all summer long with the eventual goal of going to Michigan's Adventures ( a local amusement park) the last week of August.  Last year we didn't meet our goal and didn't go but this year we're right on track (roller coaster track I guess!)  Our points are doled out for things like daily quiet time, bedtime prayers, service projects, and our family's memory work (Romans 12:9-16 so far).  Kinda fun. 

Update on the Little Lady:

We've had her for EIGHT months already! I was just telling the boys the other day that next month we will have had her for 1/2 her life! Craziness!  

She continues to thrive. Her development is right on target- she's all GIRL in the sense that she likes to TALK (or at least be heard! ;-)  even though most of it is gibberish.  She wakes up in the morning asking for "Seh" (Seth) or "Daddy" or "JJ".   Some of her favorite things are climbing on top of the table, diving headfirst into water, and eating popcicles.  She is NOT a fan of getting her hair combed out. =/  We're still learning here. =)

There's really no new news to share in her case. I had a meeting with the caseworkers and agency supervisors this coming week but I honestly don't know what it's about!  So far, Mom is hoping to be moved to a more "open program" that will allow her much more independence than she has had the past 8 months.  This could be a very telling time for her as her main issue is to establish and maintain healthy boundaries of people that she should and shouldn't be associating with. I think the agency and courts will be watching her pretty closely to see if she is able to say "no" to people that aren't allowed around Little Lady.  It's going to be very tough for her.  

We had expressed interest in being participants in her recovery and even entertained the idea of fostering Mom along with Little Lady in hopes of helping mentor her while keeping Little Lady in a familiar environment.  While we are not pursuing this option right now we are still hoping to be open to God's promptings and leading regarding our family.  We are very much aware that our boys are a priority and while we are hoping to raise them to be strong men, they are still young boys at this point.  Either way, we are seeking God's leading and would appreciate your continued prayers. 

I have been enjoying doing a bible study in the park this summer with some gal pals.  We're reading through a devotional called Duty or Delight and wow- she doesn't hold back!  I was recently challenged with the question: What do I delight in? What is stealing my delight of God?  As I reflected on 3 recent deaths (not to mention those in CO) I am grateful for the opportunity to re-evaluate how well I'm living out my favorite quote: "Only one life, it will soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last."  I don't know about you but I feel as though there are some times when it's only those "big" things that matter.  Evangelizing your neighborhood, leading a missions trip, preaching, teaching etc... but I'm gently reminded that singing Jesus loves me to one who may not hear it again in her lifetime, lovingly disciplining my child, making and serving coffee to my husband- those are things that matter too.  

As a mentor of mine once told me "...people and God' word are the only 2 things that last forever.  Spend your time wisely invested in both."  

Well said. 

 Better lived. 

Stewarding and Soccer

This past year in my Bible Study Fellowship we've been going through Acts.  Now, as I say that I know that's not the truth- in actuality we've gone through ALL the acts of the Apostles... as in Acts-Jude of the New Testament.  There have been some timeless truths I've seen in this study that I feel God is already and will continue to use to sharpen me in whatever our life events turn out being.

- The Holy Spirit permanently indwells all who believe and empowers us to do what we could not do without him.
- How is Jesus preparing me today to continue on with HIS earthly ministry?
-Real faith is evidenced by real life change.
- When we believe Satan's lies we discount the Holy Spirit's truth.
-Prayer-less lives are powerless lives.
-We can't stay comfortable and be used by God in powerful ways.
- As Christ followers we are not called to sit in the directors chair or the easy chair.
- Is my life worth imitating?
-Spiritual maturity means living by God's grace and for his glory.
-Our beliefs and our behavior go hand in hand.
-We only believe the parts of the Bible that we actually DO.
-Is God's word nice or necessary to me?
-Every opportunity to fear is an invitation to trust.

- In reading through the early church we saw how these new converts to the Way released apostles to go and do God's work. They didn't know what they meant, where they would end up or how much they would suffer and die for this call but they still sent and they still went simply because they KNEW they belonged to God.  A comment my leader raised was "when we don't release (fill in the blank... my kids, my dreams etc...) it's because we don't have an accurate view of who they belong to."

In our past 6 month journey with Little Lady we've often been asked how close we are to adopting her or how long we will have her until "she's ours". I typically respond with something like "well, we aren't sure she will be up for adoption ever so we're just enjoying her each day we have her." I have had people just stare at me then say "oh, I just could never give her back!"  And THEN when I tell them that we're trying to build a relationship with the birth mom...well, you would think I'd have grown a third eye!  But what's honestly going on here is the realization of who she belong to.  She isn't ours!  I wonder how differently our homes - my home- would function if we saw each little (or not so little) life that lives in it through the eyes of a steward and not an owner.  The children God has given to me and Brad are technically "ours" but they're not. They're his too.  My house isn't mine- it's his. My time isn't mine- his. My money, gifts, words- all his.  I need to be releasing these people, these things that I cling too much too dearly and recognize- as the early Christians did- who it all belongs too.  Wow- I'm just so thankful for leaders who clearly teach the Word and even more thankful for the Holy Spirits work.

Life with Little Lady is going smoothly still.  She's 15 months old TODAY and it's hard to believe we've had her for 6 months already.  We've had Mom over for 4 meals and also invited her to spend some time with us on Mother's Day- with extended family which was a new (but comfortable) dimension.  We are doing a lot of praying about any future involvement with her- how much, what degree - but it's been a really neat time getting to know her.  Jaedon beat her in a backyard soccer match last night ;-)

 My little helper- who needs toys right?

 Owen- the card shark.  ...  I'll wait...  OHHHH  there ya go. ;-)

 My handsome lot-

 I know this picture is HORRID (we were sitting in the very back row of the very top of the balcony) but the little blue shirt in the front corner is Seth TOTALLY hamming it up during his spring concert! HI-larious!

 Believe it or not this is the BEST Mother's Day picture we got! HA!

 Jaedon went on an overnight camping trip with his Cadet Troop. LOVED IT.

 And these pictures I put in just to make my sister in law jealous ;-)   We visited the beach - found all sorts of fun like sea shells, the "fun" of wet jeans and how (not) edible sand is!