Court Date Update

Wow- I've had so many people asking and praying about today. Thank you! And thank you for allowing me to answer impersonally via blogging to let you all know at once what happened at the hearing today.

When we first got to the courtroom I met with a caseworker who told me that Mom "turned herself in" (to the agency) last night at 10pm.  This rather threw the attorneys for a loop as she ended up coming to the hearing that, I assume, they thought she would not be present for.  Is it weird for me to say I missed her? I'm glad I could see her and give her a hug.

Little Lady's caseworker did a great, thorough job of laying out the facts about Little Lady's care and Mom/Dad's recent choices (those being NOT in Little Lady's best interest).  I will err on the side of caution and not divulge any details about those choices (other than the fact that Mom was AWOL for the past 2 months).

This judge did not hesitate in the least to approve the recommendation of terminating parent rights.  He very clearly stated to Mom that the justice system had laid out very clearly for her what was expected of her and she was very clearly told the consequences for not complying.  My assessment was rather like a parent saying "I warned you so now I'm following through with those consequences." (so to speak)

I can't quite imagine what Mom (and Dad who was listening in via conference call) thought when they heard that.

This is just a next step.  Termination is NOT finalized yet so nothing is set in stone.  Just taking a step towards it.  Little Lady's caseworker now will file a petition for termination, a hearing time will be set within the next 90 days.  All relatives will be contacted and reviewed to see if they are a likely placement for Little Lady although the court does weigh our attachment and experience (along with her age) in their decision.  They are aware that we are willing to adopt (although "willing" sounds very flighty but I guess you can't say "we really really really really want her!" ;-)

My thoughts about today are mixed.
For one I kept thinking about the proverb (8:15) that says "By me (God), kings reign and rulers issues decrees that are just."  I was just praying for the judge lately.  He's in his position because God allowed him to be.  His ruling certainly seemed "fair and just" for which I am thankful and he genuinely seems to seeking the best case scenario for Little Lady ALONE which is thrilling!

Secondly, I saddened for Mom.  I cannot imagine what she is feeling right now and after having built a somewhat tenuous relationship with her my heart is heavy.  I don't even have words to explain how or why. Just is.

Thirdly, I'm cautiously optimistic about the probability of having an actual daughter. (Even though that thought still terrifies me!)  I am also just very aware that this whole situation is certainly NOT about me, my family or even adding to our family.  It's about God.  He loves Little Lady.  He loves her Mom. He loves that judge. And his purpose for each of those and us will prevail.  What a wonderful reassurance in an unknown future.

Thanks for praying, asking and caring!