Thursday, March 26, 2009

Death, Dying and Dead

I'm in need of some opinions and ideas here-
As you both know (j/k), my boys are REEEALLY into Star Wars. This happened in September when Jaedon started school and came home saying he and his new friends were "playing star wars" (which basically meant they assigned each other character names and played tag). Harmless enough- not to mention I thing Star Wars is pretty cool for older kids anyway. (therein may be my downfall! ;)
Well, as with most kids obsessions (Elmo, Dora, Bob the builder, Veggie Tales) I was fully intending this to fade ... meanwhile I was having fun "feeding" it b/c (again) I think it's pretty harmless and he has yet to see the movies. However, we did have waaaay too much fun getting him about every book the library had on star wars and lets just say Jaedon may know more about Star Wars than George Lucas! (he's the creator of Star Wars, mom ;)
If you know the Star Wars thing- it's totally ALL boy! Basically good versus evil to the nth degree- and a LOT of fighting (hence the GOOD fighting the EVIL). Well, my boys LOVE to play their version of Star Wars- similiar to Jaedon's recess game- they assign names of characters to one another and play (recently have added sticks aka lincoln logs to be their light sabers). My quandry is I overhear them saying "oh yes! We killed him" or "Oh! The bad guy is dead now!" and the like...
This I'm not a fan of. We've put a "you don't shoot people" ban on their gun play - but I'm not sure what to do about the "killing bad guys" play. It's just a bit disturbing to hear my 3 year old say "yah...bad guy dead now". ya know?!
So...what do you think?

4 comments:

Unknown said...

That is so tough! I wonder about that if we ever have a boy...my parents actually didn't let my brother have toy guns. I don't like the idea of "thrill" violence even in play. Of course, there is the "Wild At Heart" viewpoint which would say that they are just being boys. It is hard for me to figure out the proper Christian approach to violence or non-violence even in play. I wonder if Jaedon's SW books have the killing in them or if they edit it out for the junior market. All of this coming from someone married to a MAJOR Star Wars fan. I think SW calls out the "hero" inside boys (& girls) which makes them like it. So, I hope some brilliant, thoughtful people post to give us good food for thought. ;)

Becky Gravley said...

well....i am NOT your brilliant, thoughtful commenter, so i'm waiting too to hear what somebody smart says =) i am REALLY interested in this subject too, having a boy of my own =)

Richelle Wright said...

well, y'all may think we are crazy, (and i certainly don't fit the description of brilliant and/or thoughtful) but boys will be boys... see my recent post about rock humans and jonathan...

biblically - among the very first Bible stories little ones are taught include ones about death and dying: cain and abel, noah and the ark, david and goliath (bren used to be goliath and rebekah was david), joshua at jericho, etc... death and dying are a part of life, but sometimes they need to experience that reality... a pet that dies...

so the trick is to teach this in a balanced, biblical way and start teaching/helping them to think about the whys and the wisdom of their play - I go back to proverbs. we talk about the fact that one of the 10 commandments is "thou shalt not kill," yet God did command his people to wage war, and often had them do things that are hard for me to wrap my mind around. Fascinating to hear what they say and to try and find out the why of it. i think it is good for our kids to see that God doesn't mind hard questions and that we can't understand Him because His ways are so grand.

But we don't taboo it, sometimes i'll gently try to direct play in different direction or we'll talk about why they want to play a particular game. we've memorized phil 4 (11 & 12, i think) - the whatsoever things... and we'll ask if a game fits into those categories, etc. and, if a particular game seems disturbing (i.e. the Holy Spirit is tapping my heart about it), once the character "dies" the game is over because death is final.

I think you need to be sensitive to your kids and to what God would have you to do - pray applicable portions of His Word about it and let Him speak His wisdom into this situation.

And... that was much more than my 2 cents worth...

The mom~ster said...

i love your insight richelle...

my only comment was--when we have bananas for breakfast---they are guns...and as much as I'd like my little "innocents" (said w/ sarcasm) to be the sweet and adorable little boyzies that they are right now forever--some day they will have families and be men...and I will want them to be the kind of men that will defend their families against the true evil forces...and this will require great courage...

aaaah parenting...its not for wimps

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