I can feel a lot of prayers that are being lifted for us right now and I want to thank you.
Today my heart is heavy and burning for orphans.
I told our boys tonight- "I miss our little girl. We need to pray for her today."
Jaedon said "But we don't even know who she is how can you miss her?"
I don't know! It sounded crazy to me too. All I can say is that that God is answering your prayers so keep it up!
I read this today in a blog posted over 2 years ago:
"The longer I wait on Him to whisper His wisdom, the more He is breaking my heart for His orphans."
It's true.
Thanks for keeping tabs on us. I can't wait to look back on these posts one day!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Actively waiting...
I've started my Bible study time again and have been enjoying it immensely already. We're going through the book of Acts this year. Already, the first week into it there was some nuggets to roll around.
Acts 1: Jesus is alive, tells them to "wait for the Spirit" and then ascends to heaven. What do his disciples do? Shocker* they do what he says! They wait. But! What struck me is that they did not just sit around, twirling their fingers together while they waited. They met together ("continuously!") for prayer, they appointed leaders- they were ACTIVE waiters.
My mind is all jumbled about this whole adoption thing.
Here's the deal- Way back while we were doing our fostering classes I kind of felt like God was saying "wait"- but I wasn't sure 1. if that was God or me or 2. Wait for what? So we finished our classes but were not in any real hurry to keep pursuing licensing (hence our summer of back-burner-ing it!)
Then we hear about the Egress- about the $3000. I, again, THINK I hear God saying "wait". So I say, Ok, God, if you want us to wait on this then you need to tell Brad that too!"
We went on a date, talk about the money for the Egress and he says "I guess we'll just wait." (OH! Was that what I needed to hear? BRAD saying wait...God is that YOU telling HIM to wait too???)
Then we find out about an opportunity to qualify for some financial aid thru a grant. Again I say, "Ok, God...if you really are telling me to WAIT (for what I don't know!) then have this grant option fall thru." Today I find out...it's denied. Didn't go through.
So my mind automatically goes to .."but wait... you could still get it done... you could borrow the money... it could still happen!" Is this just a roadblock to test my resolve? My desire? Or is this a genuine roadblock telling us to back off?
Part of me wants to jump and say "yes..Egress...let's do it (b/c technically we COULD)" while there is something in the back of my mind something doesn't quite sit right yet. Part of me says "yes, let's do this thing b/c I want to get the ball going already." And part of me says...keep waiting.(and please keep in mind I'm the "mother" with ZERO mothering intuition...as in I thought all 3 of my BOYS were girls...so do not typically rely on " I just FEEL like we should....")
So I need you to pray...
1. pray that Brad and I will have unity in this- that if God really is telling ME to wait...that he'll tell Brad that too! =) OR if we should move ahead that there will be unity there too.
2. Also pray that I'll grow up. There have been (too many) times lately where my selfishness has been SHINING through and not Christ. I KNOW I have such a small view of God and I KNOW that pursuing adoption is going to broaden that view- pray that I will be teachable, adaptable and spirit led.
3. Pray that I'll be an active-waiter- going about doing God's business while we...well, wait.
Acts 1: Jesus is alive, tells them to "wait for the Spirit" and then ascends to heaven. What do his disciples do? Shocker* they do what he says! They wait. But! What struck me is that they did not just sit around, twirling their fingers together while they waited. They met together ("continuously!") for prayer, they appointed leaders- they were ACTIVE waiters.
My mind is all jumbled about this whole adoption thing.
Here's the deal- Way back while we were doing our fostering classes I kind of felt like God was saying "wait"- but I wasn't sure 1. if that was God or me or 2. Wait for what? So we finished our classes but were not in any real hurry to keep pursuing licensing (hence our summer of back-burner-ing it!)
Then we hear about the Egress- about the $3000. I, again, THINK I hear God saying "wait". So I say, Ok, God, if you want us to wait on this then you need to tell Brad that too!"
We went on a date, talk about the money for the Egress and he says "I guess we'll just wait." (OH! Was that what I needed to hear? BRAD saying wait...God is that YOU telling HIM to wait too???)
Then we find out about an opportunity to qualify for some financial aid thru a grant. Again I say, "Ok, God...if you really are telling me to WAIT (for what I don't know!) then have this grant option fall thru." Today I find out...it's denied. Didn't go through.
So my mind automatically goes to .."but wait... you could still get it done... you could borrow the money... it could still happen!" Is this just a roadblock to test my resolve? My desire? Or is this a genuine roadblock telling us to back off?
Part of me wants to jump and say "yes..Egress...let's do it (b/c technically we COULD)" while there is something in the back of my mind something doesn't quite sit right yet. Part of me says "yes, let's do this thing b/c I want to get the ball going already." And part of me says...keep waiting.(and please keep in mind I'm the "mother" with ZERO mothering intuition...as in I thought all 3 of my BOYS were girls...so do not typically rely on " I just FEEL like we should....")
So I need you to pray...
1. pray that Brad and I will have unity in this- that if God really is telling ME to wait...that he'll tell Brad that too! =) OR if we should move ahead that there will be unity there too.
2. Also pray that I'll grow up. There have been (too many) times lately where my selfishness has been SHINING through and not Christ. I KNOW I have such a small view of God and I KNOW that pursuing adoption is going to broaden that view- pray that I will be teachable, adaptable and spirit led.
3. Pray that I'll be an active-waiter- going about doing God's business while we...well, wait.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Perspective
So I've had a few days to think, talk and pray about this whole Egress Window issue.
After thinking about the whys, wheres and how much-es I realized that this initial jolt that I previously wrote about has more to do with my heart than my bank account. The ugly truth is what return for this investment will there be? Surely a child we are able to Lord willing, eventually adopt will not wake up one day and resound with gratitude over the fact that we may have skipped a vacation, or some activities so that an Egress Window could be placed in our house! Ridiculous notion but deeply buried nonetheless.
I count myself as very blessed to be able to have people in my life that will help give me perspective, wisdom, advice or a butt kicking every now and then. This was a gentle reminder I received recently:
When is the last time I resounded with gratitude over Christ's sacrifice (of oh so much more than mere money)
so that He could adopt me?
He certainly grasps the concept of enormous sacrifice with no guarantee of returned affection or appreciation and, in fact, knowing quite the opposite would occur.
Oh, forgive me of my own nearsightedness and enlarge my heart today!
After thinking about the whys, wheres and how much-es I realized that this initial jolt that I previously wrote about has more to do with my heart than my bank account. The ugly truth is what return for this investment will there be? Surely a child we are able to Lord willing, eventually adopt will not wake up one day and resound with gratitude over the fact that we may have skipped a vacation, or some activities so that an Egress Window could be placed in our house! Ridiculous notion but deeply buried nonetheless.
I count myself as very blessed to be able to have people in my life that will help give me perspective, wisdom, advice or a butt kicking every now and then. This was a gentle reminder I received recently:
When is the last time I resounded with gratitude over Christ's sacrifice (of oh so much more than mere money)
so that He could adopt me?
He certainly grasps the concept of enormous sacrifice with no guarantee of returned affection or appreciation and, in fact, knowing quite the opposite would occur.
Oh, forgive me of my own nearsightedness and enlarge my heart today!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Anyone have an extra money tree?
Our internet is out at home but as soon as it's back I promise to get some school days pictures up here for you, Mom. =)
I'm asking for some prayer for some wisdom for us right now. We had 3 companies come by our house this week to give us bids on making an egress window. They range from $2,000- $3,000. This is a bit of a shock to us and we're not quite sure what to do with that. For us this is a lot of money that we are willing to spend (once we locate it of course ;-) but it's also a bit disheartening because it likely means we will have to delay our licensing until we save up for it (probably by way of a tax return). I am assuming that if we were to pursue adoption from any other means that this would more than likely have to be done as well - again, just a bit of a shock value for us. So pray that we will be united in our decision, that the funds will be provided and that we are sure of our calling!
I'm asking for some prayer for some wisdom for us right now. We had 3 companies come by our house this week to give us bids on making an egress window. They range from $2,000- $3,000. This is a bit of a shock to us and we're not quite sure what to do with that. For us this is a lot of money that we are willing to spend (once we locate it of course ;-) but it's also a bit disheartening because it likely means we will have to delay our licensing until we save up for it (probably by way of a tax return). I am assuming that if we were to pursue adoption from any other means that this would more than likely have to be done as well - again, just a bit of a shock value for us. So pray that we will be united in our decision, that the funds will be provided and that we are sure of our calling!
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