Actively waiting...

I've started my Bible study time again and have been enjoying it immensely already. We're going through the book of Acts this year. Already, the first week into it there was some nuggets to roll around.
Acts 1: Jesus is alive, tells them to "wait for the Spirit" and then ascends to heaven. What do his disciples do? Shocker* they do what he says! They wait. But! What struck me is that they did not just sit around, twirling their fingers together while they waited. They met together ("continuously!") for prayer, they appointed leaders- they were ACTIVE waiters.


My mind is all jumbled about this whole adoption thing.

Here's the deal- Way back while we were doing our fostering classes I kind of felt like God was saying "wait"- but I wasn't sure 1. if that was God or me or 2. Wait for what? So we finished our classes but were not in any real hurry to keep pursuing licensing (hence our summer of back-burner-ing it!)
Then we hear about the Egress- about the $3000. I, again, THINK I hear God saying "wait". So I say, Ok, God, if you want us to wait on this then you need to tell Brad that too!"
We went on a date, talk about the money for the Egress and he says "I guess we'll just wait." (OH! Was that what I needed to hear? BRAD saying wait...God is that YOU telling HIM to wait too???)
Then we find out about an opportunity to qualify for some financial aid thru a grant. Again I say, "Ok, God...if you really are telling me to WAIT (for what I don't know!) then have this grant option fall thru." Today I find out...it's denied. Didn't go through.

So my mind automatically goes to .."but wait... you could still get it done... you could borrow the money... it could still happen!" Is this just a roadblock to test my resolve? My desire? Or is this a genuine roadblock telling us to back off?

Part of me wants to jump and say "yes..Egress...let's do it (b/c technically we COULD)" while there is something in the back of my mind something doesn't quite sit right yet. Part of me says "yes, let's do this thing b/c I want to get the ball going already." And part of me says...keep waiting.(and please keep in mind I'm the "mother" with ZERO mothering intuition...as in I thought all 3 of my BOYS were girls...so do not typically rely on " I just FEEL like we should....")

So I need you to pray...
1. pray that Brad and I will have unity in this- that if God really is telling ME to wait...that he'll tell Brad that too! =) OR if we should move ahead that there will be unity there too.
2. Also pray that I'll grow up. There have been (too many) times lately where my selfishness has been SHINING through and not Christ. I KNOW I have such a small view of God and I KNOW that pursuing adoption is going to broaden that view- pray that I will be teachable, adaptable and spirit led.
3. Pray that I'll be an active-waiter- going about doing God's business while we...well, wait.