I am a Hobbit

This past week I was listening to a radio ministry.  They had a lady on there speaking and even though I was only half listening, half coloring the bits and pieces I heard made me want to do two things. 1.  Turn the radio up and 2 . Turn the radio off!
She had written a book about her journey ( seems like lots of people do) but from the bits I was hearing her journey sounded a lot like mine.  Not the locations and details about life's generalities but the journey of heart issues.  I began to listen a bit closer..really resonating with what she was describing.
I caught the name of her book but honestly I didn't want to hear it.
But I also found myself tuning into the radio broadcast on the second day to hear a bit more.
I NEVER do this....but I bought her book via kindle edition within the next day and started to devour it.  I kept wanting to read some "really good" parts out loud to Brad but I wasn't able to find any small enough.  I told him he'll just have to read it himself. :)
I am now midway through this book and it equally amazes and terrifies me.  Amazing because her hearts questions and struggles are like reading my own journaling pages.  Terrifying because after reading this I will be accountable to make some sort of response...rather like hearing a great message from your pastor, reading Gods word.  Responding is not optional.  ( and pretending not to hear it is still a response!)
So I'm still thinking maybe I should have turned off the radio on that first day.;)
But no, I feel God is stirring.
Exciting but terrifying.
And to be quite honest I don't want to go there.
See, I am a hobbit.
Okay, no, I don't actually have huge, hairy feet ( although the huge part could be disputed) and, this analogy is not original with me.  But, if you know Tolkiens creatures at all, Hobbits are content with the familiar.  They desire the comfort of the life they have built for themselves and that their families have built for generations past.  They don't bother themselves with the outside world because it would greatly disrupt their way of life.  And good hobbits never go on any adventures or do anything unpredictable.  They crave comfort, security, habit and safety.

I am a hobbit.

But the Hobbits have a friend, Gandalf.  I don't know why they bother with him but he's an old friend.  He comes and presents a specific Hobbit, Bilbo, with a proposition. It includes adventure, danger, leaving his home, village and people, traveling with mixed and questionable company with no guarantee of safety or even of return.
I WANT to want that too.

This book is Gandalf.  It threatens my hobbitdom.

So I decided to write this post mainly because I needed to do something with the thoughts that woke me up before 7 on a saturday (grrr...) but also because I want to keep track of this stirring God is doing in me and my big, hairy feet. ;)