Tension

I am a doer.
I like lists. A lot.
I like checking things off my lists just as much.
I even have been known to write things down on a list that I already accomplished simply for the pleasure of crossing it off my list.

It's a sickness really.

This doing mentality has brought a wee bit of tension into our 'all things Africa' journey. Namely, I'm tense and Brad is awesome.
To be frank, there is no small amount of work that NEEDS TO BE DONE to move- regardless of where you move- moving is work!  The fact that we are planning to move to Africa makes it a bit of extra work.  There are passports and visas, background checks and cultural training, fundraising and... well, fundraising. Do do do!
So a conversation that happened in our family room the other week was something about me "suggesting" (i.e. nagging) about what was on the  (STUPID) list. I could feel my blood pressure rising because Awesome Brad is also Cool as a Cucumber Brad. (Neither of which alliterate much to my disappointment). Anyway, he looks over at me in his Cucumberesque way as says "you need to be trusting more!".

Wind. Sails. Done.

There is this great tension though. What does it look like to be faithful in our doing but full of Faith?How can we be focused in our mission but to not get life out of focus?
A list is EASY.
Faith is tough.
My lists are just that- mine. They are written by me, accomplished by me, and checked off by me so that at the end of the day I can see all that I have done.
This kind of faith is completely empty of me.  I want it to be so.  I desperately want it like that so that at the end of my lifes journey I can look back and see all that HE has done.

Plan well.
Trust more.
May it be so.