I love cotton candy. I love how it melts, sticks, tastes- everything. And it was brought to my attention today (via my pastor) that people tend to be a lot like this sugary treat. We look good on the outside but we're not made of much that lasts. ouch. I am really good at hiding my true self- I want to look good to everyone and not let anyone really know the reality of who I am. Truth is- it's tiring to hide all the time! I think this entry is the first time I've written down true feelings since...my 7th grade diary! =O
Lately I've been going thru a not so much-"mid life" crisis - I guess a spiritual identity crisis is more accurate. I've really had to examine what I believe and why. Funny thing about raising kids- you have to think about what you are teaching them and hmm...why am I wanting to teach them this? I know a lot of people go thru times like this and I'm not alone but it's been a rollar coaster for the past 9 months or so with no end in sight. This past week it was all challenged. My dad lost his job- again. Now, this may not seem like THAT big of a deal- except in my parents lives they have had nothing but disappointment and discouragment for the past 15 years. I was so angry at God - "Why can't you just give them a break? They have been served you faithfully even when you seem to not care-" It just set me back this past week and I know it was a huge blow to them as well. I've heard once that the problem with this Christian life is that it's just "so daily" =) And that is what I was reminded of at church today- I have to choose TODAY to believe "all of God's promises won't let go of me", that he IS faithful, and holy- that he is our vision and strength for each day.
So this is my branching out of my cotton candy mode- Rather scary not knowing who all reads this ;-) but it's a step for me at least as I work to become more than something that just melts...
3 comments:
I'll be praying for your dad to find a job or that the Lord will show your parents His path for them, and that you will have little reminders daily to claim for yourself that All of His Promises won't let go of you (or them!!)
I'm so glad you were open and honest. We love you Amber. It's nice to know that there are other mom's out there going through similar things as I am. Thinking of you....
Thanks for sharing. I love how open you are and am praying for you, your mom and dad and family as a whole. Anything you might need, please let us know. We love you all so much, and please let your mom and dad know that we are praying for them. Gabby loves her so much - she's not Jaedon's Grandma, she's Grandma rice! Gabby wants to add them to her prayers at night too. much love to you all!
Chrissy, Jer, Gabs, Ty, Lex...
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