North Pole Diaries

I know I am a bit biased but I think he's a pretty good lookin third grader- heading to his Christmas concert called North Pole Diaries. His music teacher is pretty good looking too ;-)

I Egress....

So the dilemia of our Egress window is not so much a dilemia any longer- it's more of a pile of dirt in our front lawn, a big gaping hole, a slab of concrete cut and removed and the window (on order) waiting to be installed HOPEFULLY as soon as we get back from PA for our Christmas break.

A very Howells Christmas

This year the 6 of us adult Howells thought it might be fun to book a weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge and do our Christmas weekend together there.

We were right- it was fun. =)

Here are a few pics of our time together...A ceramic tea-set for Katelyn with a promise for Aunt Amber and her to have a tea date together.

Becoming a traditional gift- the family picture calendar. Fun to make- fun to see.

Fairly safe to assume that all 6 kiddos had a blast in the waterpark.

Thanksgiving break

The cousins making a "bunny nest" in Grandmas backyard on Thanksgiving. If dirty fingers are an indicator of fun then this was a super successful adventure. =)

Lest I forget the other 3 miracles in our midst... we have really enjoyed this past few days together as family. The thanksgiving tree was (obviously) overflowing which is just a visible sign of the truth of our abundant blessings in our lives. These days off have been a really nice blend of getting things done and playing together too.

Little Lady is doing so well. She is sleeping good and is actually going right in her crib to sleep. She doesn't eat a lot - but that might just be the difference between her and my boys who couldn't eat fast enough! She is very laid back and crawls around like she knows where she's going. The boys love interacting with her but they do a nice job of not overwhelming her either. They still go off and play on their own because...afterall...she is still a BABY. ;-) This weekend has been just awesome for doing a lot of "nothing" to see what sort of routine she likes.

Her caseworker and I meet on Monday so I hope to get some more information about her situation then. Until then...thanks for your continued prayers.

November 21

Oh how fast life can change!
We got a call on Monday at 2pm from our fostering agency asking us to consider taking a little 9 month old baby girl.
Enter heart aerobics.
After talking with God, Brad and asking for some prayer from friends we said yes. She was brought to our house (after a lot of waiting) at 9:30 that night.
Since then I have been a very humble recipient of an overflow of generosity. I had very little information about her from my 2pm call - I knew she was 9 months old but what size diaper was she in? What size clothes was she wearing?
When we saw her we quickly saw that she at least is a healthy girl- wearing 12 month clothes already and got her weight to get her the right diaper size. She came with the outfit of clothes she had on, a hat, coat and blanket. I had 1 12 month sized sleeper for her and 1 size 3 diaper. =)
However, that was just exactly what I needed.
We had friends give us clothes, a monitor, onesies, pink bears, barrettes, diapers, wipes, dresses (!), swimsuits, burp rags, and socks. My list of "things I need" is very small. What a blessing.
Perhaps a bit invisible but just as meaningful to me is the love, support and acceptance we have witnessed these past few days. When we went to my in-laws for Thanksgiving yesterday there was already a framed photo of this little girl on her shelf with her other granddaughters. What a tremendous feeling to be so covered with support and unconditional love not only for us but for her.
So as I watch my "resolve to not become TOO attached" sail happily away into lala land I can't help but admit I am afraid. This little mocha colored baby is winding herself into all of our hearts already and the fear of the unknown future with her is a dangerous dwelling for me right now. Please pray about that with me. The words to this hymn came to mind this morning in my sleeplessness....

Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
(I love those lines!)
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.

November 16

Our case worker called me yesterday to let me know that we are officially licensed for foster care!

I was quite surprised since we still have to install our Egress Window (which is slated to be worked on the week after Thanksgiving). She, however, told us if we signed a waiver that stated we would agree to not use the basement as living quarters with a foster child that she could open our home for care.

We signed.

And now we wait.

I have neglected blogging for awhile simply because it seems too overwhelming to sit and actually journal (I don't do very well in maintaining my own journal!) so I've decided not so much to go back and try to update but just carry on from here.

In my bible study time we are studying Acts. There are many good lessons to pull from but one thing that has stuck out to me is that Christians are not called to a life of ease.

Consider the early church -individuals who were lucky to only be shunned for their beliefs and more often were beaten or killed because they dared to believe that Jesus was who he claimed to be; the first missionaries -who walked for hundreds of miles to spread the gospel in some cases it was not accepted, they were laughed at (in good cases) and beaten (in not so good cases) yet they kept spewing Jesus because...oddly enough...they believed him to be who he claimed to be too. Consider those I have heard about, read about who believed Jesus' claims to the point that they spent all their lives attempting to align their way of life to mirror that of the one they serve. I see a very disturbing similarity... they lived hard lives.

So these observations beg me to ask myself- do I believe Jesus' claims? Do I believe him to be the Son of God, the perfect provider of salvation, the Word made flesh, the only Way, the only Truth and the only one Life?

If I do then am I willing to embrace a hard life in a culture that screams for us to treat ourselves because "you're worth it"?

I am challenged also by the fact that my actions pour out of the well of my beliefs. (This is something we've discussed recently in the Young Marrieds class at church. ) Similar to the idea that how I spend my money is what I value... how I spend my time, the words I use, the shows I watch, the music I listen to, what I view online... all of that and more are indicators of how much I reverence Jesus as God. Convicting to me at least...

So... all that to say... this fostering journey has me both excited and terrified. I am very aware (although naive at this point) of the sheer ugliness of the fostering system. It is both triumphant and tragic. We are going to need you to be praying for us - for a listening ear in tune with the Holy Spirit (because I have no idea how I'm going to say "No, we don't want THAT child" !! yikes). Please pray for increased unity in our marriage- we are already experiencing it but we haven't even started yet so please pray for that. Pray for our kids- that we will love on any child we have in our home and that we will be willing to grieve as a family when/if a child leaves our home. We were talking with the boys last night and said "This is not an easy way to live. But we love Jesus more than we love ourselves so this is what we are going to do together....".

Thanks for your partnership in prayer. I'm reminded too that the prayerless life is a powerless one and we need all the power your prayers afford us!

Octoberish

So at school the teachers take turns recognizing 2-3 students from their classroom that they feel has displayed the months moral focus of the month. October's focus has been respect and Jaedon's teacher let us know that she was going to have Jaedon recognized (they call it "being fished") Proud Mama moment. =)

Owen experienced his first dentist visit... and subsequently was "thankful" for the dentist for the next 3 days. He did great. =)

Besides the 1/2 day, every day drive to kindergarten I am THRILLED with him doing afternoon k-garten. We have been able to enjoy some slow, lazy, puzzle and story-filled mornings.

I can't remember if this is our third or fourth year doing our Thanksgiving Tree- but a recent family night had our tree making attention by taping, coloring, cutting, hanging and reciting.
I read a book recently called One Thousand Gifts (www.onethousandgifts.com/thebook). It was a personal story about the author's journey on the road to learning not just the act of thanksgiving but the undeniable need we have to foster a life of gratitude. One of my favorite ideas from these poetic pages was the idea that becoming a person of gratitude takes practice. Maybe not oh so profound- but it raises the question for me: How am I practicing a life of thanksgiving today? What am I thankful for TODAY- and every day- throughout the day?
I love being prodded.

My punkins in the pumpkins...

We spent some time this weekend at a local orchard and had a lot of fun exploring the world of apples, corn mazes and pumpkin patches.

We had SO much fun walking around cornstalks... who knew!?

The not so itsy bitsy spider

Words

I can feel a lot of prayers that are being lifted for us right now and I want to thank you.
Today my heart is heavy and burning for orphans.
I told our boys tonight- "I miss our little girl. We need to pray for her today."
Jaedon said "But we don't even know who she is how can you miss her?"

I don't know! It sounded crazy to me too. All I can say is that that God is answering your prayers so keep it up!

I read this today in a blog posted over 2 years ago:
"The longer I wait on Him to whisper His wisdom, the more He is breaking my heart for His orphans."

It's true.
Thanks for keeping tabs on us. I can't wait to look back on these posts one day!

Actively waiting...

I've started my Bible study time again and have been enjoying it immensely already. We're going through the book of Acts this year. Already, the first week into it there was some nuggets to roll around.
Acts 1: Jesus is alive, tells them to "wait for the Spirit" and then ascends to heaven. What do his disciples do? Shocker* they do what he says! They wait. But! What struck me is that they did not just sit around, twirling their fingers together while they waited. They met together ("continuously!") for prayer, they appointed leaders- they were ACTIVE waiters.


My mind is all jumbled about this whole adoption thing.

Here's the deal- Way back while we were doing our fostering classes I kind of felt like God was saying "wait"- but I wasn't sure 1. if that was God or me or 2. Wait for what? So we finished our classes but were not in any real hurry to keep pursuing licensing (hence our summer of back-burner-ing it!)
Then we hear about the Egress- about the $3000. I, again, THINK I hear God saying "wait". So I say, Ok, God, if you want us to wait on this then you need to tell Brad that too!"
We went on a date, talk about the money for the Egress and he says "I guess we'll just wait." (OH! Was that what I needed to hear? BRAD saying wait...God is that YOU telling HIM to wait too???)
Then we find out about an opportunity to qualify for some financial aid thru a grant. Again I say, "Ok, God...if you really are telling me to WAIT (for what I don't know!) then have this grant option fall thru." Today I find out...it's denied. Didn't go through.

So my mind automatically goes to .."but wait... you could still get it done... you could borrow the money... it could still happen!" Is this just a roadblock to test my resolve? My desire? Or is this a genuine roadblock telling us to back off?

Part of me wants to jump and say "yes..Egress...let's do it (b/c technically we COULD)" while there is something in the back of my mind something doesn't quite sit right yet. Part of me says "yes, let's do this thing b/c I want to get the ball going already." And part of me says...keep waiting.(and please keep in mind I'm the "mother" with ZERO mothering intuition...as in I thought all 3 of my BOYS were girls...so do not typically rely on " I just FEEL like we should....")

So I need you to pray...
1. pray that Brad and I will have unity in this- that if God really is telling ME to wait...that he'll tell Brad that too! =) OR if we should move ahead that there will be unity there too.
2. Also pray that I'll grow up. There have been (too many) times lately where my selfishness has been SHINING through and not Christ. I KNOW I have such a small view of God and I KNOW that pursuing adoption is going to broaden that view- pray that I will be teachable, adaptable and spirit led.
3. Pray that I'll be an active-waiter- going about doing God's business while we...well, wait.

Perspective

So I've had a few days to think, talk and pray about this whole Egress Window issue.
After thinking about the whys, wheres and how much-es I realized that this initial jolt that I previously wrote about has more to do with my heart than my bank account. The ugly truth is what return for this investment will there be? Surely a child we are able to Lord willing, eventually adopt will not wake up one day and resound with gratitude over the fact that we may have skipped a vacation, or some activities so that an Egress Window could be placed in our house! Ridiculous notion but deeply buried nonetheless.

I count myself as very blessed to be able to have people in my life that will help give me perspective, wisdom, advice or a butt kicking every now and then. This was a gentle reminder I received recently:
When is the last time I resounded with gratitude over Christ's sacrifice (of oh so much more than mere money)
so that He could adopt me?

He certainly grasps the concept of enormous sacrifice with no guarantee of returned affection or appreciation and, in fact, knowing quite the opposite would occur.

Oh, forgive me of my own nearsightedness and enlarge my heart today!

Anyone have an extra money tree?

Our internet is out at home but as soon as it's back I promise to get some school days pictures up here for you, Mom. =)

I'm asking for some prayer for some wisdom for us right now. We had 3 companies come by our house this week to give us bids on making an egress window. They range from $2,000- $3,000. This is a bit of a shock to us and we're not quite sure what to do with that. For us this is a lot of money that we are willing to spend (once we locate it of course ;-) but it's also a bit disheartening because it likely means we will have to delay our licensing until we save up for it (probably by way of a tax return). I am assuming that if we were to pursue adoption from any other means that this would more than likely have to be done as well - again, just a bit of a shock value for us. So pray that we will be united in our decision, that the funds will be provided and that we are sure of our calling!

Long time...

Confession: "blog writing", while it has been on my "to do" list hasn't made my priority list lately. Sorry, Mom. I am finding that posting pictures on Facebook is a lot easier but I concede that the person (s) that I opted to begin a blog for in the first place (namely my out-of-state parents) are not Facebook-ers. So, alas, there may be repeated pictures and such for you who stalk me properly. ;-)

I am SO glad I've taken pictures of life this summer...otherwise I think I might think it never happened...just some crazy, busy, lovely, relaxing, running around dream.
Here's a few highlights
June:
Owen turned 3- in body and spirit. He also decided potty training was acceptable. *whew.

Jaedon participated in Kids Games and had a few hours of karate for a week. He LOVED it.

Fathers Day was a fun day with family and friends...and beach fun.

10th Anniversary trip to Colorado! We saw Colorado Springs, Garden of the Gods, ate at the Melting Pot (fondue restaurant), hiked in Rocky Mountain National Park, ate at Casa Bonita, and went White Water Rafting. Not exactly relaxing but OOOOOh so fun!!

July:
Fourth of July fun -
We (as in Brad) built a shed.

Yep. That about sums up our first 2 weeks. We also manged to squeeze in Jaedon's first soccer camp, some kitchen dancing, homemade ice cream and corn dog making, merry go riding, impromptu park dates (followed by inevitable ice cream outings!), bike riding, a ladies tea, backyard camping, and a family reunion too.

Long time take 2....

Then the last 2 weeks of July:
Brad went to bandcamp and Zambia.
The boys and I went to PA.
We're working on a letter about Brad's trip but for now here are a few select pictures...
Since Brad and his friend Shawn were headed out to Zambia together our families together got together for an evening of African fun. We colored some pictures, went on a safari (do you see the Crocodile with Owen??), learned a Zambian handshake and had a time of prayer together.






Like I said...more to come soon!

Fostering update

Ok I have been SOOO delinquent in writing to my faithful few! =) But thanks to those of you who have asked recently what is going on with the adopting process! I appreciate your following up with us!
All of our paperwork is in, the case worker is writing her report for approval to the state, however we need to build a "legal escape" (or Egress window) into our basement before our house can be approved by the state. This just means we are on a bit of a stand still until we can scrounge up the contractor and the funds in order to have this work done. We are hoping to at least get some names of people from our church family that may be in this line of work and then we just trust God to provide the means to have it done.
I will update here when things move along too.
Thanks, though, for asking!

The VBS song Jungle Adventure -

Good morning, God

This is our morning prayer/song- I just love little people voices....

Thoughts on moving

9 years ago (as of August) we moved into our house completely penniless and unaware of the decision we just signed agreement to. I remember our realtor mentioning the presence of our neighbors dogs which we just shrugged off. He mentioned the school district (ours is considered "troubled" I'd say) but we were not even pregnant with Jaedon yet so again we just shrugged off the concern. We were thinking we MIGHT be in our house for 3-5 years.

Considering the plan to add one more child to our rather box-like and smallish house has sent me into panic mode a bit these past few months. I mean- our kids are NOT getting shorter! So we started to pursue the IDEA of moving. The problem is our house is not only not worth what we paid- it is worth less than what we owe! Never a good thing. It would still be doable if we REALLY wanted to keep pursuing it but then we have spent a long time thinking about our motivation. Why were we considering moving?
1. better school districts? well, we don't even attend our slotted school district but that brings up a whole other blog post about training and raising our kids to be missionaries- kid of strength and substance so that we might even be willing to put them in "rough" situations on purpose. Like I said, another post for another time. ;-)
2. Another reason to leave- we have weird neighbors. Ok- who doesn't? Our neighbors like (and share) their VERY loud latino pop music ... often. It's better than a few neighbors ago who liked (and shared) their very loud Metal music that had words in it I really don't want to kids to learn. I'm ok with my kids knowing the Macerena. ;)
3. We simply wanted a bigger house- when adding another child to the mix it makes sense. But really- it's more to clean, more to maintain, more furniture to buy, walls to paint but when it comes down to it- if I am not content with what I currently have - I will not find contentment in anymore more.

When it came down to our reasons I think I've discovered them to be more like excuses. As I've talked with friends about this idea of moving in the back of my mind there was a little voice saying "I know you'll go where I want you to go...but will you stay if I want you to stay?" Moving( for me) turned into SO much more than looking into school districts and landscaping. It became an issue of my motive for living. It became an issue of contentment vs. comfort, the idea of a house (being just a structure) vs. a home, an issue of the temporary vs. the eternal.
In our culture it's almost a crime to be content. Everything we see, read, hear and talk about it about getting "what you deserve" because "you're worth it". What a bunch of bunk! I'm SO thankful that I'm NOT getting what I deserve (hell!) because I am worth it. (or at least I was). I know, my mom says I think too much- perhaps that's true but I'm grateful for the insights we've had while considering this too.

I also don't want to make this seem like I am opposed to anyone who ever moves! I hope that we DO move sometime. I just found that the reasons typically go deeper than "we need more space". =)

So- all that to say- we have found unity in our decision to stay here for now. I'm not sure for how long- and I'm not all that concerned about it.
In the meantime we hope to 1. de-clutter and reorganize to help make this space all it can possibly be!
2. build a bigger shed! With no garage, our little 8X8 unit is pretty packed
3. grow deeper in contentment- not for this structure necessarily but for the provision that it is. 4. Learn some Spanish and the motions to the Macernea. ;)

Seth

It hasn't slipped my attention that I had a post about Jaedon and Owen recently. Poor little middle child ...always getting the shaft! =)
Seth has been interesting lately. I'm looking for some suggestions. He has been quite devious in several circumstances recently. Fortunately he is not good at hiding it (yet!) so I can usually tell SOMETHING is amiss but it won't take him long to discover how to "hide it better"- which, obviously I really don't want to happen!
He will hide things he shouldn't have,
not do something right but tell us he did,
and sometime outright lie about it.
Ugly huh?
Any suggestions/creative ideas on how you have dealt with lying and deviousness?

Girl update

Just thought I'd throw out an update about where we are in the fostering licensing process. We have our case worker coming next Friday morning to review all of our paperwork, check out the house (which is moderately intimidating) and to interview our kids (which is highly intimidating!). After that she begins to write a report about us that she will submit to the state for approval of becoming foster parents. So it's waiting for documents, meetings and time basically at this point.
I have had a lot of fun getting girl things though! My generous neighbor gave me bag fulls of fluff- from shoes to dresses to hats and sunglasses! So surreal!
And my Mom in law made the "Howells girls" blanket- it's too special of a blanket to give to just anyone! ;-) Isn't that beautiful?