Why is it that our "RSVP" stands for a phrase in French? Responde, sil vous plat. Ok, I know I really butchered that spelling - feel free to correct me, Richelle ;-)
Anyway- I'm looking for some responses here.
The question at hand is this:
What would you say are the top 3 challenges in marriage.
For some odd reason God has given me a passion for newly marrieds. I know that sounds a bit silly since we've only been married for 8 years ourselves. I don't know how else to describe it other than it's something from God and I am seeking to be obedient to do something about it.
So we're going to be facilitating a new - kinda marriage basics- class for newly married couples in our church beginning - uh well, in 4 weeks! Talk about feeling completely inadequate for a job - let me tell you- the enemy has used that line on me countless times as I've been exploring this. But I've also come to realize that God doesn't want me to feel adequate- he just wants me to be a "willing (albeit ill-equipped) vessel."
So... help us out here a bit- give us some feedback (goofy or not).
And don't worry- I won't use your names in the class ;-)
Anyway- I'm looking for some responses here.
The question at hand is this:
What would you say are the top 3 challenges in marriage.
For some odd reason God has given me a passion for newly marrieds. I know that sounds a bit silly since we've only been married for 8 years ourselves. I don't know how else to describe it other than it's something from God and I am seeking to be obedient to do something about it.
So we're going to be facilitating a new - kinda marriage basics- class for newly married couples in our church beginning - uh well, in 4 weeks! Talk about feeling completely inadequate for a job - let me tell you- the enemy has used that line on me countless times as I've been exploring this. But I've also come to realize that God doesn't want me to feel adequate- he just wants me to be a "willing (albeit ill-equipped) vessel."
So... help us out here a bit- give us some feedback (goofy or not).
And don't worry- I won't use your names in the class ;-)
5 comments:
**selfishness and pride--selfishness is when you want your own way. it is not a new probablem but we all must learn to be selfless whether with our spouse, our neighbor or our chidren for a relationship to work. this is not being a doormat, but being willing to give up requiring the other person in the relationship to make you happy. pride in marriage will keep you from saying you are sorry and will keep you from being vulnerable. it could either destroy the relationship outright, or just keep you from experiencing what it could be a deeper relationship.
** the tendency to want your spouse to meet all your needs. sometimes your spouse will not meet your needs. when this happens you can be resentful and bitter and manipulative...it may work temporarily, but in the long run it will most likely backfire. i have found that there are instances when you must simply turn to Jesus Christ and ask Him to be your "all in all" to meet the needs of your heart that no man/woman will ever be able to meet. to bow before Him and ask Him to change you...and if it is needed your spouse.
** busy schedules and children...they are a part of life but you must find a way to nurture and care for each other. from the simple -- being polite to each other, offering times of rest and refreshment to each other, being kind....to the big stuff like a weekend away every once in awhile...or stepping in when your parents are driving your spouse crazy...or making a sacrifice--simply b/c you love your spouse.
I am so excited for this new adventure God is leading you on! You and Brad will be amazing for that and you DO have a lot to offer! There is a reason God has called you to this! You are understanding, a good listener, and have creative ways to keep your love alive! As far as 3 things that are hardest in a marriage: Sexual Intimacy, Being unselfish, & Keeping love alive even when kids, life, things, and busyness get in the way!
I can expound on these more if you want!
Momster- you're going to be our guest speaker k? ;)
Wow! The mom~ster basically said what I was going to say but said it so much better than I could even say.
But I also agree with Becky with her comment about sexual intimacy. The hardest part of our marriage was keeping the "spark" alive when we were trying to get pregnant for 3 1/2 years. It was quite a struggle to keep our marriage peaceful at that time because of the stress that we were both under. I can understand how some marriages crumble when they under-go major stress. Luckily when we went through our pre-marital counseling we formed a plan for how to deal with the really tough times in life together so that we would be supportive of one another.
Finally, openness and honesty. Being open and honest about your feelings/expectaions can be really hard. I realized that I had certain expectations of my husband that he never knew about because I never told him about them.
Hope this makes sense...
well said, mom~ster! (and others... but i don't know y'all).
**what they've said alreay and
**communication -learning to share gently and truly listening
**gentle and biblical confrontation - how to confront and how to receive it - crazy as it sounds to a newlywed... it will happen a lot sooner than expected.
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