I'm starting to see why firstborns are so weird. (sorry, honey...and, well, a lot of other people I know...) They are our test drive- poor kid. He didn't ask to be born first!
Well, anyway, in hindsight I have come to realize that I don't think I did a very good job of giving Jaedon more and more responsibility (ie chores and jobs around the house). It's not that he didn't have things to do but it honestly didn't even cross my mind to start handing him more "jobs" with things to do. I think I missed my "window" when young kids are THRILLED to help out (I'm working on that with Seth...). So now Brad and I came up with ideas of chores for Jaedon to do and ...well, let's just say it was NOT met with very much enthusiasm. We, as paitently as possible, explain that everyone has to do jobs. That it's part of living in a family...yada yada... but we're still met with "No. I don't think I'll do that right now." or "No thanks. I don't want to do that."
So- now what? Fortunately, he has still done the chores we've asked of him- I just need some different ideas on the approach I need to be taking. The whole "I have jobs that I don't WANT to do but I do them because I love my family" speech works okay....but really - don't want to have to give a speech all the time ya know? So... here ya go... you're chance to shine and tell me what I SHOULD'VE done when he was 3 - and now what I could do now. Any thoughts?
5 comments:
my particularly favorite ways to handle to this is
1) respond, "Tough ... do it..." covered in the sugary sweetest way I can. "I hear ya man...but ya gotta do it anyway." "Oh yeah...well guess you'd better work quick so it will be done soon." I've concluded that I'm usually way to stinking easy on the kids and sometimes we all have to suck it up and just do it.
2) Mimic their (with HORRID exageration) bad response/attitude as I do my own chores and force them to stand there and watch me...I'm not sure if this is the most mature response or the best parenting technique...but I look stupid...gets them laughing and (so far) shuts them up.
3) A chore chart...concise...with no more chores on it than the child's age...with my expectations explained...and small but stinky consequences for failing to do them. (IE 5 min in the corner for each outfit I have to pick up off the floor of your room...and I chortle with joy upon such a discovery...)
Keep at it,girl...and remember... someday he's gonna probably be responsible for the welfare of a family...and that entails work--and lots of it...so just remember one of the jobs of a mom is to be the bad guy...but have fun doing it...
I have no clue...so I'm interested is seeing what other have to say! So far my girls love helping so I'm just trying to encourage it as much as I can! I think Adrianna is a servant like her daddy!
I have the same problem...Rachael and Alex both complain every time I ask them to do the smallest thing...you know the "but Alex got that out" or "why do I have to?". UGH! One thing that has worked quite well with Rachael is when she grumbles when asked to do a chore, I pateintly wait til she's done and then assign something else. When she demands to know why, I simply tell her that until she can comply with my request with a cheerful attitude, I will continue to assign her more to do. Didn't take long after that...now I just need to be more consistent.
we work pretty hard with our gang that chores are accomplished before fun begins. with the older kids, they have a chore chart, but a pretty good motivation is no food until chores are done... and we teach them that completing their chores is their contribution to the family - just like mama cooking dinner is part of my contribution. if they don't contribute, then they don't get to benefit from others contributions.
another really good tactic that has worked with our kids is to, before we ask them or tell them to do something, we say something to the effect of: "Mama needs to ask you to do something - but I want you to decide ahead of time if you are going to obey or disobey." it puts chores into the realm of obeying/disobeying and just as we as adults need to decide that we are going to obey God, no matter what, ahead of time. and as they get older, we change the question, depending on their need/what we are working on - are you going to serve others or expect everyone to serve you... as a tool to teach biblical principles.
Its tough to get kids to want to do chores or anything that WE want them to do! I found with children this age, explaining what is going on helps with chores.. Such as.. daddy goes to work so we can buy food, isn't this meal wonderful that daddy earned money for? If we don't work, we can't eat.. keep the lights turned off when they want to read or the tv can't work because maybe daddy didn't want to do his work today...
No work, no eat??? LOL
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