I like to shop. Shocking? not really I mean I am female -but- thankfully-as much as I do enjoy going shopping I equally enjoy just looking. In fact, it's rare that I acutally BUY anything (unless I'm at a goodwill- I can ALWAYS find something there ;) Seems harmless enough right?
Well, over the past few months (maybe even the past year) I've had some insight on the not-so-harmless side of shopaholicism.
We decided it would be fun to go to the mall the other week- all 5 of us. I'm pretty sure I was in some caffeine-induced stupor when I decided that taking 3 young boys and a man to the mall actually qualified as FUN...however, we went. Actually- it was fun. Point being we did not really SHOP- just walked the mall, visited the Disney store, rode the carousel and played with the Thomas train set in Barnes and Noble. So ok, not really SHOPPING ;) However, when I was there I was looking around- at people not stuff- and was surprised that when we left (bagless- again) I felt very sad. I felt as if all these people were rushing from store to store looking for something that they HAD to have- and not even smiling when they were weighted down with 3 or 4 bags of their "happiness". I felt a deep emptiness after we left that I don't know how to describe- other than that it felt like I had just left a prison. (Altho-technically I've never been in a prison so I don't know exactly how that feels!)
Our Sunday School group has been talking about consumerism lately. There have been LOTS of deep and interesting discussion that have come out of it but one that stuck with me is how do we, as Christians, look any different than our culture when it comes to "stuff"? Are we the people at the mall on Saturday frantically looking for the next greatest thing that is sure fill some small void in our lives?
The other insight I've had about this has been personal- Do
I need to buy stuff to make me happy? Ok- so the obvious, Christian response is "NO!"
But then I looked deeper- granted our income and budget would not even allow me to THINK about coming home with bags of merchindise from the mall on any sort of regular basis- but is it really about the amount of money we spend or just the fact that we spend? I have to admit that at the end of a loooong day, going shopping- just to kill some time- is almost
theraputic to me. YIKES! I was struck by this fact when I heard it said "where do you turn when you need some salvation?" I don't use that word in the sense of Christ's salvation- but rather- when it's been a loooong day and I need some "out" time - do I turn to Christ for my strength-to "save" me from my weariness, grumpiness or fried nerves?
I don't have this figured out yet and what I'm saying may prove me to be a huge hypocrite- but I'm noticing that maybe I'm not so unlike "those people" I saw at the mall with huge bags and heavy hearts- maybe I just hide it better.
This is my discontent. Good timing with Christmas approaching don't you think? ;)